The Problem:-
As we progress in our careers we are increasingly encouraged to get involved in activities that are not central to our core responsibilities.
Under the social pressure of being a good colleague, we almost always end up saying yes despite being not interested in them.
Not only Social pressure, sometimes there are good reasons to say Yes too,
Some of these might:-
- Bring JOY, from being helpful
- Offer the POTENTIAL TO LEARN
- Help ADVANCE OUR CAREER
- Carry the opportunity to ENJOY Social Time with colleagues
But most of the time specifically for introverts, such participation takes away much more than they actually offer. And we end up being drained of all our energy.
What Psychology Says:-
Psychologist Hans Eysenck in his personality theory proposed that the behavioral difference between extroverts and introverts comes from the difference in their level of arousal.
He suggested that the rate of arousal for extroverts is tremendously lower, so they are always seeking more stimulating activities to be at the normal state of arousal.
On the other hand, introverts have a higher rate of arousal. For them, it doesn’t take as much engagement to raise it to its normal state.
This is exactly the reason why too much socialization that extroverts pursue is quite overwhelming for introverts.
Eysenck’s theory reminds me of the words of Charles Bukowski which introverts might relate to,
People empty me. I have to get away to refill.
Introverts might also like this blog post I wrote 15 Powerful Life Lessons from Charles Bukowski to Slay The 21st Century.
The Solution From Non-Fiction Books:-
1. Joy at Work: Organizing Your Professional Life
Last year I read the book Joy At Work. It’s a must-read for people who are not finding meaning in their work. You can read 10 Powerful lessons from Joy at Work.
Coming back the author Scott Sonenshein in Joy at Work has suggested a simple technique to overcome this predicament.
He says,
- Take a Pause.
- Say, I‘ll think about it and get back to you
- Take some time and ask yourself, DOES IT SPARK JOY?
If the answer is NO, politely decline the invitation.
2. Wait: The Art and Science of Delay:-
Frank Partnoy too in his book Wait: The Art and Science of Delay lays emphasis on the importance of learning DELAY MANAGEMENT.
Delay Management involves an understanding of:―
- What proposals to delay
- Under what circumstances?
- And For how long?
Studies have shown that when we delay making a commitment, we feel more empowered to say NO to tasks we don’t enjoy.
The effortless execution of these 2 ideas can definitely help you cleverly and amicably bypass participation in extramural activities at the workplace.
Grab your copy of the mentioned books here:
1. Joy at Work | Amazon.in | Amazon US
2. Wait: The Art and Science of Delay | Amazon.in | Amazon US
The Best Books:
Recommended Reading Lists
1. Best Books To Help You Develop the HABIT of READING
2. Best Books That Teach the Art of Living a HAPPIER LIFE
3. Best Books on STOCK MARKET & INVESTING
4. Best Books To Help You Find HOPE During Your Darkest of Times
That’s all we have for today. Thanks a lot for tuning in to HappinessDhaba. Do let us know your views on this in the comment section.
Signing off with my favorite words.
Zindagi Zindabad!
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An Engineer-Turned-Psychologist who loves Literature.
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